Articles

But insight, while important, is only the beginning.  Insight means you understand what you’re feeling—the intensity, the pattern, and how those emotions are affecting your life and your relationships. It gives you awareness and clarity.  That matters.  But insight...

But that’s not quite accurate.  What often keeps someone stuck are the beliefs that formed around the traumatic event.  For example, someone who has experienced a sexual violation may come away with a deeply painful belief:  “This was my fault.”  “I’m dirty.”  That...

Why?  Because our thoughts and beliefs strongly influence our emotions and behaviors. If you don’t know what you’re thinking, it becomes very difficult to change how you feel or how you respond.  So we start with a very simple process.  When you notice...

I often work with clients who deeply love the person they’re dating, even though they recognize significant problems—drinking issues, uncontrolled anger, or patterns that conflict with their own values.  When I ask about these concerns, the response is often the...

But insight is only the first step.  Insight means understanding and appreciating what you are feeling, how intense those emotions are, and how they influence your behavior. It also means recognizing how your behavior affects the people around you.  That awareness is...

They need incremental action.  I once worked with a client who had intense anxiety about eating in public places. When she was in a crowded restaurant, she became so self-conscious about how she was being perceived that she would become nauseous and sometimes even...

One of the most common mistakes I see parents make is confusing distress with decompensation.  A young adult feels discouraged.  They lack confidence.  They struggle when things get hard.  And immediately the question becomes:  “What diagnosis are we missing?” ...

I often see clients stuck in silent standoffs with family members or friends.  A disagreement happened. Feelings were hurt. Words were exchanged. And now… nothing.  No one reaches out.  No one apologizes.  No one makes the first move.  Because each person is waiting...

When I ask what they mean, they often say something like:  “He won’t talk about his emotions.”  “I can’t get him to open up.”  “He just gives one-word answers when I try to talk.”  This is a very common concern. But there are several important issues buried inside it...

A father once told me he wanted to be the “leader of the household” and the “man of the house.”  In a later session, he shared an incident that revealed something important.  His wife discovered their son watching pornography and came to him upset, wanting to talk...