Want to learn how to make your anxiety worse?
Be upset because you’re upset.
Many within the mental health profession talk about it and recognize it as an important component in helping people with anxiety. Yet, we rarely let the public at large know about it. In the profession it goes by different names: Symptom Stress, Secondary Disturbance, Meta-Disturbance…
When I’m describing this problem to my clients, I tell them “You’re upset because -you’re upset.
The easiest example is the response to the “panic attack” (BTW: Panic “ATTACK” is a very unhelpful way for people to think about those moments when they’re highly anxious, so let’s just call them “panic events”). Frequently, after their first panic event people find themselves very upset about the idea that they had such an intense experience. They are so upset that they become increasingly anxious over the mere idea of it happening again.
Can you guess what that does?
You got it. By worrying about having another panic “attack” they bring on more frequent and intense anxiety, which leads to panic. In other words, worrying about being anxious compounds their anxiety. They’re healthy brain is telling them that another panic event would be Terrible and Awful, that they couldn’t Stand It, and that it Shouldn’t be happening to them. The brain then further amps-up an already activated body creating even more anxiety.
If we think of our anxiety as something awful that we can’t stand, we’re well on our way to increasing our distress and compounding the experience.
This “compounding effect” is not limited to panic attacks. Many clients talk about being unable to sleep because they’re frustrated or anxious over the fact that they experience anxiety. They’re hardly thinking about the original stressors (like work or family). This kind of thinking puts people on an endless trajectory of escalating anxiety.
So how should you think about being anxious?
First, recognize that you’re human, and all humans are subject to various emotions. Our society sends the message that unpleasant emotions such as anxiety should never happen and if it does, there’s something “mentally wrong” with us. Anxiety is normal and can be changed using the proper techniques. So, the first thing to do is to normalize the fact that you’re anxious.
Second, tell yourself that being anxious is not the end of the world. It’s uncomfortable, but you can stand it (As evidenced by the fact that you’re alive and reading this article).
You’re tougher than you think!
The very best to you all.