Resources

I often run across clients who believe that they need anxiety to fuel their success.   They say that without anxiety, they would get sloppy or lose the motivation necessary to achieve their goals.  In keeping with my earlier post on values, I’d like to point out that...

Clients sometimes express disillusionment because they're having trouble pursuing their goals.   This dilemma can occur because they’re using unhelpful criteria to identify their goals. For example, a client I worked with reported that his goal was to make more money....

“I can’t stand it when he talks to me that way...”  “I can’t stand it when she chews her food so loud...”  “I cant’s stand my boss...”  “I Can’t Stand It” is another common thinking error. In the REBT paradigm we call it Frustration Intolerance. The error is so common...

One thinking error that most of us engage in involves the belief that we can’t walk away from a given situation.   This type of thinking leaves us feeling anxious and angry because we feel “trapped.” We can become resentful of others who are “keeping us” in an...

What do you fill in the blank with? Money? A better job? An attractive body?  Unless you fill that blank with “rational, healthy thinking” it’s likely that you’ve formed a thinking error, one that is costing you a better quality of life.  To be sure, things like money...

Common complaint, right?   Our culture sets unrealistic expectations of what our bodies should be like. This is particularly true for women. As a result, many women are unhappy because their bodies aren't “perfect.” Unfortunately, they sometimes use their looks to...

Are you the Go-To person at work?   Are you the Go-To person in the family?  Are you the Go-To person at work and in the family?  Being the Go-To person can be very gratifying. The role lends itself to enjoying a sense of purpose and satisfaction when you solve...

Many of high-achieving clients tell me that they demand perfection.  As a result, they’re often upset and discouraged when things don’t go according to their expectations. In fact, their unhappy most of the time...  I tend to suggest a healthier approach - Rather than...

We believe that venting is a good thing to do. After all, we usually feel better after we “get things out.”  But is it really good for you?  Is it truly helpful?  Important distinction: Sharing your burden with others and using your support network is a healthy coping...

Can you listen attentively, or do you hurry and even interrupt conversations with others? Has the pressure to stay on schedule at work compromised your ability to listen?  Enhancing professional and personal effectiveness includes attentive listening. Being in a hurry...