People in Defense

You’ve chosen to serve, and it’s been an honor.

Yet, there’s still a cost – the price you pay for your service.

This career choice is different. Whether in the military, a defense contractor, a Fed, a cop, or a first responder, your day-to-day life is different. You live a different reality.

The things you see – the information you know, and the risks you take – all take a toll.

And the price isn’t just paid by you. Family, friends, and loved ones are often all along for the ride.

Her last deployment took a toll on Jillian*.

Jillian hasn’t felt right since she returned from her last deployment. She’s been resilient before, but this time feels different.

The 24/7 work pace was exhausting, and now it’s hard to come back to what’s supposed to be a balanced life.

Her life is anything but balanced. Jillian’s struggling to adjust and assimilate. She feels disconnected – apart – like she’s on the outside looking in. She plays along and smiles, but she doesn’t feel connected.

She’s not sleeping well and experiences this free-floating anxiety that crops up for no reason. She wants to talk to someone, but would that help? Who can she trust to understand her life?

Seeking help with your stress used to be taboo.

Worse yet, needing help equated to weakness.

Most organizations claim to have changed – encouraging you to reach out. You’re not quite sure you believe them. Something about it doesn’t feel safe.

Yes, they will support you in seeking help, but could it impact your career?

That depends on many factors. If you have a clearance that requires a background investigation, they will most likely ask you about the circumstances. While many organizations provide resources, finding your own is sometimes safer.

Cassidy* was in a shooting last week while on the job.

It was a good shoot, but she still must wait to complete the required admin work.

They took her gun, which is standard procedure, but it still feels weird waiting for whatever happens next. She was advised not to talk about it within the department while also encouraged to reach out if she needs help.

Cassidy wants to talk and even feels like she needs to talk, but not with anyone affiliated with her organization.

She wants complete confidentiality and no paper trail. She wants to be heard and know that person has her back.

Public opinion has shifted.

Mainstream opinions around the fields of service have changed.

We want to be proud of our careers, but there’s been a shift in the country’s mood. Those once considered the good guys are not.

No one seems to care about the facts and extenuating circumstances. There’s now a strong focus on the narrative and optics of the situation.

Doing your job can be a risk. Making any mistake can be dangerous. And this equates to stress.

Mark* is former military and now works as a contractor.

He was deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq directly after 9/11 and was away from home for years.

He’s married with two kids, both of whom are in college. While his marriage is solid, he’s having trouble connecting with others.

Transitioning back to “normal” has been more challenging than he expected. He doesn’t relax well and can’t without lots of alcohol.

His oldest daughter suddenly hates him and is angry all the time. She’s angry because he’s male. She’s resentful because she believes he abandoned her. And she’s ashamed because he was a soldier. Mark’s world feels upside-down.