I often run across clients who believe that they need anxiety to fuel their success.
They say that without anxiety, they would get sloppy or lose the motivation necessary to achieve their goals.
In keeping with my earlier post on values, I’d like to point out that anxiety is not only unnecessary but counterproductive. Anxiety generally falls under the category of over-activation.
In 1908 researchers Yerkes and Dodson established that there’s an optimum level for personal activation. Too low and we don’t even get out of bed. Too high, and we have so much noise in our heads and disruption in our bodies that it becomes hard to focus. Being chronically over-activated also lays a hard road if you’re pursuing a long-term goal.
When exploring goal related anxiety with clients, invariably it’s driven by a negative belief. The most common beliefs are thoughts like “if I fail it would be terrible” or “if I fail it means that I’m a failure.”
Since these clients base their motivation on these negative, anxiety-producing thoughts, their journey toward their goal is characterized by high stress, intense fear of failure, difficulty with decision making, and overall unhappiness. The goal feels like an obligation rather than a positive outcome. When they reach their goal, they’re more likely to feel relief instead of elation or satisfaction.
So, what should motivate goals?
Once again, we should look to our values.
A simple definition of our values: Foundational beliefs that guide and motivate our actions. They are authentically important to us and tend to be enduring.
Some values include family, health, community, service, etc.
A goal stemming from a value: Since I value my family; I want to spend quality time with my wife and children.
An unexamined goal: I value my family; I’ll make more money so that they can have more “opportunities.”
Both goals acknowledge valuing family, but the second one is vague. Without further clarification of the value, motivation declines.
Since properly identified values are the ones that are deeply important to us, we don’t need anxiety as further impetus to achieve our goals. If we accurately identify and clarify our personal values, we’ll be motivated to pursue any goals related to them without any need for the anxiety that stems from fear of “failure.”
So, what are your values?
The very best to you.