Women’s Mid-life Re-evaluation Series
As a People Pleaser you fear being disapproved of. This fear comes from a belief that usually sits outside of your awareness yet profoundly controls how you feel and act. Unconsciously, you believe that there is danger in conflict or rejection. In response to this perceived danger, your brain activates the fight-or-flight system.
When you get that “look” from family members and coworkers, your stomach instantly flips. This visceral reaction spurs you to avoid the perceived “imminent danger.” Over time you’ve become hyper-vigilant for any signs of conflict or rejection. As a result, your body is constantly alert. Constant activation at any level taxes the body, making you exhausted.
There is also the energy spent completing tasks that should be done by others. We all have a limited supply of personal equity — only so much physical energy and mental capacity. Unfortunately, you squander much of your personal equity:
🔸 You say “yes” when you really want to say “No.”
🔸 You do tasks for adult family members (Including adult children) that they can do for themselves.
🔸 You agree to take on new responsibilities even when you know that you don’t have time.
🔸 You wind up feeling resentful toward yourself and others.
Each of these behaviors leads to further anxiety; you know living this way isn’t good for you and so you further stress yourself because you don’t know how to stop.
In mindset training there is a protocol of thought adjustments and new behaviors that help People-Pleasers shift away from the wasteful expenditure of personal equity through proper boundaries, inner contentment and healthy relationships.
The first step is uncovering the underlying thoughts that are driving the unhealthy lifestyle.
Can you identify the specific thoughts that lead you to People Please?
The very best to you.